A good idea? and so I though…
Back in 2010 I was traveling an hour long drive back and forth to work and my parents house every weekday. I would have to wake up every morning at 5:30 a.m. and leave the house by 6:15 p.m. to be at work for 7:30 a.m. Most days, I would finish work at 6 p.m. and I would only be back home at 7:30 p.m. As you can imagine it was difficult and I wanted to move closer to my place of work. Of course at that time I was relying on my boyfriend to finally move in with me in our own place. It took a lot of convincing but eventually after 6 months of travelling this way he finally cracked and decided we will buy our first home in the same city my job was in.
My boyfriend at the time, Carl, would do anything to squeeze a dime back into his pockets. I mean this guy was cheap all around. so it became hard for us to choose a house together as I wanted something that was more finished and ready to move in with minor fixes to be done if needed. He on the other hand, wanted nothing but the cheapest price and the best value for his buck. Then we finally found a few fixer uppers And he liked the price tags that came with it so we decided on a fixer-upper that we saw potential in. There was definitely a lot of work to be done in the house, but Carl convinced me that he was ready to tackle the project. He was adamant that he knew everything about houses and wanted to do the house inspection himself. He was sure that everything was fine with the house except for just a few minor issues he can fix so we went ahead and bought the house.
The day has come that we finally got the keys for the house and we can move in. but the most exciting part for me was that I didn’t have to travel so far anymore. This was a brand new chapter to our relationship and in my life. We were so excited to finally get the keys for the house one month after we had all the paperwork signed.
Once we had everything moved in, we started setting up everything in the next couple days until we were satisfied with everything put away and every room nicely decorated. I started to see a few problems like mold and just that the tub was leaking a little bit but I didn’t think too much of it at the time. we were finally set in after a long week of work in the house but I am finding it easy to get to work and actually getting extra time to work on our house.
More problems to come
About a month later my boyfriend hasn’t changed a thing in the house yet he said he was just settling in and he would work on it once he’s relaxed for a little while and enjoy just having his own house. That was fine but one month became two months and so on. Six long months later, I was really getting tired of using our bath as a shower so I asked him what the plans were to get the shower started in our basement as that was our plan in the first place. Carl now tells me that he has no idea how to tile the floor or even to install a shower. then he brings up the fact that there’s a big crack in our wall that he hasn’t seen before that seems to be leaking as well and would need repair before we start building anything in the basement. I then Ask them if there was any way he or to get on this project so we can get started on everything else. He told me he would watch some YouTube videos and try to figure out how he can fix the situation.
The next morning after the discussion, I woke up hearing what sounded like water pouring very fast. This obviously startled me so I ran downstairs as fast as I could as that’s where the sound was coming from. So now the basement is flooded two feet high and our water pump blew while we were asleep.
Things only got worse from there like having to tare apart the whole bathroom upstairs as a bath had leaked all over and everything was just moldy and falling apart. The house was rotting EVERYWHERE with leaks all over the place. It was getting really out of hand and extremely frustrating. By this point, everywhere you would walk there was a disaster.
Nothing was getting fixed and everything just seem to be getting worse and falling apart only one year after owning our house. nothing has really been fixed since we moved in. Carl always blamed it on not knowing what to do even though he said he would learn how to do it himself. I asked him if we could finally just get someone to come in and do the repairs for us. He then told me I am crazy to think that we can afford these kinds of things after buying a house.
I was devastated as I had friends and family come over all the time and they always had comments to say about our house and I would always tell them we would have it fixed in no time. My parents came over one evening when Carl was on a night shift. They weren’t too happy on the conditions of the house as they haven’t been in town for a while and it has gotten worse from when they last seen it. My dad offered to help at least get us a shower downstairs and fix the crack in the wall if it was even possible. my parents stayed over that evening and slept on a crappy air mattress in the living room as our other bedrooms still needed work to be done and beds.
My dad went to the hardware store before it close that evening, got everything he needed, came back to the house and started working. My dad worked till 1 that evening. He fixed are crack issue in the basement and a few other issues we had. He also had the bathroom downstairs started with a brand new sink and a corner shower. He also repaired a few little things that needed to be done in the house.
I was so thankful and at this point Carl had no idea what was going on. I did not call to tell him or send him any messages. I wanted him to come home and maybe feel like he could have done more work for us. The next day when he came down from his sleep after his night shift and found my dad there still working and fixing a few things, he pulled me aside and ask me what was going on. I told him that my father had to offer to do some work and that I was becoming pretty desperate. He then goes to tell me that he is not happy that I didn’t tell him this was going on. He would have stopped it and was about to do it himself.
This left to a big fight and of course I was tired of all of this with Carl. He decided to stay at his friend’s house that night. The next day my parents left and went back to their home. I asked Carl to come over so that we can talk. He then tells me that last night he was with someone else and he just wanted to sell the house and go our separate ways.
This was really out of the blue. but I did feel like he was talking to someone before this and he just never really wanted this house with me. It was too much of a pressured situation for him and after a year he just gave up on the idea of us having a beautiful home together.
And just like that.. gone!
We had originally bought the house together so we had to sell the house and I couldn’t afford it on my own. So I lived in the house until it was sold a month later. I was so devastated that my dad’s hard work on building me a home that is safe or on its way to getting safe was all for nothing. We had actually lost money on the house after we sold it. Carl didn’t want to fight for a higher bidder as he just wanted to get rid of the cost and of course I ended up getting the lease so that he can have the bigger bang for his buck.
All this to say don’t pressure someone who isn’t ready to buy a house with you. He might make you believe that he can make it work, but if he’s not committed from the beginning most likely it’s just the start of his lies. Make sure you’re ready to make this step with someone as it is a very big deal to own a home. One last thing, as cheap as you or your other half maybe, make sure to get an inspector before you decide to purchase the home. You’ll be happy you did!